you know when you're just standing there and everyone else surrounding you looks so damn happy. they are having the time of their life while you're there, with a halfhearted smile, not intoxicated or even a little bit high, having fun ....or...pretending to have fun. because you know whatever you are feeling will pale in comparison to whatever you feel at home. like your life is on complete stand still, suddenly there's just silence, there's only you in this entire place. you're alone and you don't notice everyone and everything around you, mainly because you don't care.
nostalgia really hits us at the strangest times and places, and for a minute there, i closed me eyes with so much hope, and wished i was back home. all this happened in a club, while we were strutting our stuff on the dance floor with ''love in this club' blasting in the background.
so i'm in somekind of (wonderful) fashion blog frenzy at the moment aside from the sartorialist and everybody is ugly, i'm currently engrossed in facehunter, fashiontoast, karl ascloset, jakandjil, fashionsquad and childhoodflames. any more recommendations?
anyways yesterday i realised (together with sab) that sleeping for us is done in broad daylight. strange and totally clueless on why that is, but we sleep at the seven in the morning (on average) and thats the norm? its four now and i'm barely feeling the slightest bit sleepy.i was contemplating on killing time by walking over to 7eleven to pick up a new magazine but my last experience with a shady looking man looming in the early morning freaked me outtt. or maybe i'm just too paranoid. the other option was rewatching brothers and sisters season one but the consequence of me getting hooked on it (again ) = not leaving my room until i finish the whole season hence ruin my social life was very viable) so here i am, at 4.12 in the morning thinking of something to talk about.
oohooh today during dinner, the subject of melbourne came up and right there and then, i reminisced. realised how useless wen was, how she and van used to come down to my apartment at four in the morning scavenging for food. whether it was whipping up a quick omelette or boiling water for their cup noodles (which i grew to accept), cooking for them was paramount. i loved it, and wen loved cleaning my stove haha. i remember that rainy dreadful night whereby we stuffed ourselves silly with gnocchi, teriyaki salmon, chicken, grilled vegetables and soup mmmmm i remember those rice bar dinners with the excessively oily chicken mushroom rice and my cuttlefish. i remember our particularly terrifying experience with that black camouflaged (monster)dog in the alley way and how following that, i refused to walk through that alley till shumz finally drilled some sense into me (or rather forced me to conquer my fear) i remember those freezing brisk walks (hurry catch up van!)to safeway and the convenient store and those threshermen cafeteria style (very chic) dinners. i remember crown casino and our pathetic winnings (cept terrys), at least we acquired a hot dealer haha. i remember brunswick and all its rusticness and general pants and all its hotness (vee)................melbourne was, easy. and it was because of three. the point is, i miss you three so much and i would give anything, sell my soul even, to teleport you all back.here.now.
greaaat now i'm abit, no actually majorly apprehensive about leaving for manchester. because of the unfamiliarity and maybe because i'm too damn comfortable here. manchester in contrast to melbourne is frightening, much more dangerous so ive been warned and i'll be starting afresh with no friends cept for family a four hour drive away. ahhh, i feel vunerable just thinking about it! but nevertheless three weeks is still a while, and aside from the mulitple errands i plan to run (if i'm ever able to recall them) spending (more) time with those who matter is my number one priority. three months away doesnt seem that long, infact pales in comparison to many others, but trust me, i am dependent and can easily be labelled a basketcase who will experience countless emotional rollercoaster outbursts if away from home.
okay aside from all that melodramatic crap, tonight was good, catching up during dinner and later supper.(managing to carry out a proper conversation with lee, hahaha, very uncanny) that coupled with smoothsilky rochor beancurd undoubtedly made my night. tomorrow is lunch with su!!! whom i havent seen in ages, or spoken to... so much to the point that i was highly convinced it wasnt her on msn the other day. and if all goes as planned, by the end of the day i would have my hands on law and order svu season four and hopefully adjusted my watch. and to top off my (potentially)good day, our brothers and sisters season two marathon would suffice.
and despite all the fiesta thats been happening, habitual weekends of booze and hangovers zzzzzz losing you is not an option, and i would just like you to know that!
goodnight
you like, " hey pharrell, i aint tryin to kill your mood but i can do that star trek sign, see, killa dude."
